A Fool’s Errand on Foreign Soil
Trump’s convictions on a large number of crimes dedicated earlier than, throughout and after his reign as Cheeto-in-Chief, are in no way achieved offers, not less than not but. Naturally, loads of Americans are skeptical that our system of justice will certainly ultimately reveal that nobody, together with a former President, is above the legislation. We’ll imagine it once we see it is a typical chorus.
But not less than for the sake of dialogue, let’s assume that the U.S. Department of Justice follows-through on not less than one important legal cost towards Trump, one which for every other particular person, would require jail time for a similar crime. Now think about that he’s additionally dealing with separate jail time in not less than a dozen different authorized actions possible to lead to indictment and possible conviction. If the system holds, Don CorleOrange shall be dealing with the very actual chance of an orange jumpsuit, and an incapability to purchase, threaten or tweet his method out of significant jail time. At that time, no matter buddies he thought he had inside his community of cronies shall be out of attain.
What then? you might ask. Knowing that jail time is unacceptable to him, does he strive to invoke one other violent revolt, borne of MAGA outrage on the “unfairness” of their Golden Grifter being caught red-handed breaking the legislation(s)? Even if the lowered ranks of his most excessive minions have been to select violence in response to his pending jail time, it could not save him. Plus, calling for an additional violent rebellion as a method to keep away from incarceration can be extra idiotic than conceivable, even for Trump, and would solely speed up his issues.
Short of ending his personal life, there’s just one technique left that has any probability of saving his slippery cover. He wants to flee the nation, quick, however not because the loser that he’s. Since he has few authentic ideas, another person amongst his ranks will ultimately level out to the secure genius that he might really spin his cowardly escape right into a winner’s narrative, not less than so far as his MAGA cult and rightwing media are involved.
He can declare himself a “President in exile,” robbed of his rightful standing as winner of the 2020 election, and fleeing his nation to keep away from unfair prosecution by the radical-liberal-M$arxist-socialist-communist-LBGTQ-not white-America-hating, witch-hunt-mean-people, out to get him. “The best crime in American historical past!!” (apart from Hilary Clinton’s electronic mail server. Or was that Hunter Biden’s laptop computer?)
In this novel method, his Big Lie can dwell on; besides that now, as an alternative of originating at Merde-A-Lago, his ongoing marketing campaign of falsehoods and grift can be beneath the sponsorship of a brand new nation. He would have been granted political asylum by certainly one of any variety of authoritarian regimes (in an irony certain to escape him) and will anticipate to discover the liberty to develop his MAGA model to worldwide standing. Going ahead, he might prolong his MAGA attraction not simply to the American delusional, but additionally to authoritarian-loving rubes across the globe. In no matter stays of Trump World, he would not be operating from the legislation. He’d be the brand new star in a bigger universe of mischief — all from a brand new “momentary” residence away from residence, whereas he purportedly waits to be re-installed because the “rightful” American president. Almost ingenious, proper?
So the query is, the place would Trump flee?
Looking at it from his viewpoint, his personal first selection would have to be Dubai. With his hidden property, he might simply afford the hire. His household already has huge monetary ties to Saudi Arabia, an in depth ally of Dubai. He may finagle himself a pleasant higher flooring on the Burj Khalifa. From there, he’d give you the chance to proceed his lavish life-style, whereas persevering with to take cash from his cult devotees inside and out of doors the United States. But would the Saudis threat the attainable destabilization of fragile middle-eastern alliances (not to point out continued entry to huge weaponry purchases from the U.S.), simply to assist Jared Kushner’s malignant narcissistic of a father-in-law? Probably not.
North Korea, maybe? After all, these “love letters” with Kim Jong Un actually meant one thing, did they not? Can you think about the continued mutual admiration and manly adulation which may happen as soon as Dolt 45 says his final goodbye to the western world and extends the titillating love affair into Kim’s darkish parlor? The thoughts reels. But finally, the important confinement to quarters, nonetheless lavish, would in all probability not work for Trump. Neither would the absence of KFC or Big Macs. Nope. Too very like jail, apart from the definitely-not-gay mutual adoration, in fact.
Now, possibly Hungary would give our would-be Fuhrer the right welcome he deserves. After all, the MAGA-Republicans held this yr’s annual CPAC convention abroad, in Hungary, as particular company of authoritarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban. Subsequently, Orban shared the stage with Trump on the Texas model of the CPAC occasion. But the politics of welcoming a “president-in-exile” is likely to be difficult for Orban. He would have to abandon any pretense of representing a western democracy, even a faux one. He may need to welcome Trump as a brother-in-arms, however going full MAGA with an American fugitive dealing with jail time might be an excessive amount of political baggage, even for Orban.
Of course there are at all times locations just like the Philippines, Tunisia, Nicaragua, Iran, and others, the place anti-democracy authoritarians and wanna-be fascists do their half within the ongoing international marketing campaign towards liberal democracy. They are in fact joined in spirit, if not in deed, with MAGA-Republicans holding public workplace within the U.S.. Hosting a star fugitive like Trump would undoubtedly put these regimes within the worldwide limelight, not less than for a time. But these can be second and third tier selections for the Tangerine Palpatine.
Ultimately, everyone knows the place Valdermoron should find yourself. To Russia with Lard., the place else? Russia is de facto the one viable choice for a large number of causes. To start with, Agent Orange already has many relationships there, enterprise and private. Putin shall be as determined to welcome him because the God Frauder is to be out-of-reach of American rule of legislation. For Trump, he’ll lastly sit side-by-side along with his Emperor, prepared to collectively wreak havoc on the Western world, as he plots to develop his grift empire to much more suckers keen to assist his trigger, no matter it might be.
For Putin, soooo way more is to be gained. Clownigula’s midnight escape into Putin’s arms will present Vlad with a colossal distraction from his failings in Ukraine. But extra importantly, he’ll stand to inherit Trump’s legion of MAGA-zombies, together with whichever MAGA members of Congress haven’t but been charged (or already convicted) alongside Jabba the Gut. They will function a direct proxy for Putin’s most helpful fool. Just like earlier than, besides this time there shall be little area between the grasp and his fugitive puppet, now shut at hand, reporting for obligation.
The former Master of Mar-A-Lardo will do his finest to revive his fallen empire from afar. But finally, that can fail as a result of it’s actually a idiot’s errand. Life in Russia shall be no cake stroll for the cake inhaler, and Putin is not going to endure a idiot like Trump for very lengthy earlier than throwing him beneath the marshrutkas, like Trump has achieved to so many others.
Maybe ultimately, when the Floridian Flounder is of no additional use to him, Putin will publicly launch the rumored “pee tape,” starring you-know-who as the person beneath the yellow curtain. A video immediately gone viral, cementing a ultimate, becoming picture of the putrid pussy-grabber, for us to keep in mind him by. Who is aware of? But regardless, Trump will stay Putin’s bitch (ouch!) till the tip, every time which may be.
It’s both that, or jail. And it will likely be Trump’s dilemma, not ours.
(Credits to Steven Colbert for his Best of #HeWhoShallBeNamed)
This article additionally seems on Richard Lang’s Substack e-newsletter: www.RichardLang.Substack.com