WASHINGTON, D.C.—After a batch of his emails have been made public by means of an FOIA request, a determined, frantic Dr. Fauci known as in an professional technician to ensure no extra damaging emails have been made public.
The technician, famend Beltway-area electronic mail server technician Hilgo Clintmann, arrived in his van and started to examine Fauci’s modest electronic mail server configuration.
“Oh, sure, very dangerous electronic mail safety right here sir, very, very dangerous,” Clintmann stated as he walked by means of the server racks and inspected the assorted exhausting drives and cables. “We’re going to wish to remodel this complete setup. You want to have the ability to, the way you say, disappear emails immediately. We will maintain this with emergency panic buttons. Do not fear, Dr. Fauci — we’ll ensure you are by no means embarrassed ever once more.”
Clintmann even instructed an elated Dr. Fauci that his firm additionally makes a speciality of discovering out who leaked a selected set of emails and ensuring that they “by no means make that mistake once more.” “It is a, the way you say, cleansing service. You make the mess, we clear it up.”
Finally, earlier than leaving, Clintmann put in an emergency hammer behind a chunk of glass studying “Break in case of federal investigation.”